meet a guest Paul

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Paul

I was born in Upper Holloway, Islington in 1981. I went to school at St Joseph’s Highgate and then on to St Aloysius College Highgate. My dad died when I was little and me and my brother were brought up by our mother. I did OK at school. As a teenager, I got acting parts in London’s Burning and Grange Hill and I did the first year of A levels. I left at 17 to do a 5-year apprenticeship as an electrician. I met my partner at 22 and bought a flat in Archway. We lived pretty happily together and in 2008 we had a baby girl. In 2011 my mother passed away and that’s when things started going wrong. I’d used cocaine occasionally, but what had been a social thing became a problem. I was working hard, earning good money but I started missing days at work and losing interest in my career. I became distanced from my family and friends and became a bit of a recluse. My behaviour took its toll on our relationship and me and my partner split in 2013. I’d become a different person – horrible – irrational, selfish and not nice to be around. I still managed to work, just about. I was staying in cheap B & Bs around Finsbury Park but my wages wouldn’t stretch. My cocaine use began to spiral and I needed money to pay for my habit. I started stealing from work, bits and pieces of cable, to supplement my wages. I was spending £100 a day on cocaine and £50 a night on B&B; I was chasing money wherever I could find it.  Amazingly, I was still managing to work 6 days a week to keep this lifestyle going until December 2015 when I got caught stealing and lost my job. That was a massive wake up call. I didn’t understand how I’d become this person, someone I didn’t recognize and didn’t particularly like. I’d been spending about £50 a day on cocaine but I just stopped using there and then. People find that difficult to believe, but that’s just what I did. In some ways it was quite easy to break the habit – I’d lost my job, I was homeless and I’d got no money.

I slept in an abandoned garage in Archway; sadly I’d lost all contact with my daughter and her mum over a year before because my behaviour had become so difficult and unpredictable. The garage had no roof, I used a bit of old carpet to make a roof and it was freezing! I managed to keep myself looking OK. I used the showers in a gym where I’d been a member and there were a few soup kitchens in churches around the Holloway Road where I got food; I didn’t find any Day Centres. Eventually I got a place in a Churches Winter Shelter scheme where you go to a different church every night. My 28 days with them came to an end and somehow I got really lucky and was accepted by SFTS; I didn’t even spend one more night on the streets.

I started applying for jobs as soon as I got here and I’m starting work next week. I was really surprised when the staff at SFTS said that as long as I kept working and saving for a deposit, they’d let me stay at the shelter and do their best to help me find somewhere decent to move on to; I’m determined to do this. I’m still clean of drugs and my aim is to stay that way, build a relationship with my daughter and put the madness of the last few years behind me.

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