I’ve lived in England for 50 years. I was nine when I travelled from St Lucia with my brother to join my mum and dad in the UK. Dad was a tailor and mum worked as a cook in an army barracks in Praed Street.  All four of us lived in one room in a house in Minet Avenue Harlesden. I went to Essendine Primary School in Maida Vale and then on to North Paddington Secondary. I enjoyed school and I did quite well. I was good at sports and I was in all the teams, athletics, football, but my favourite was cricket – I was a fast bowler.  We won lots of competitions and we were pretty feared by other schools. I got a few O levels then left school to start my first job as an apprentice copier engineer. I did that for a few years and then got a job selling hand-made Persian carpets in Westbourne Grove which lasted 7 years.

I got married in 1992 and we bought our own house in Edmonton Green.  I was doing ok, I had my own business importing exclusive Danish Dyrlund furniture. My wife worked on a project with teenagers.  We had two children and our life was really very nice and very normal.  We were together for 10 years and when we finally separated, I left the house to my ex-wife and children.

In 2000 I met my second partner and we had 5 children together. We decided that I should do the bulk of the childcare. We were very happy as a family for 12 years but sadly we then separated. I stayed with my sister and her son for about 4 years in her Westminster Council flat, but when she died, I was homeless. I managed to get a private rented studio in Haringey – I was there for three and a half years when the landlord issued section 21 notices to everyone in the house and we all got evicted.

This was August last year. I was on the streets for a few days when I met an outreach worker at a soup kitchen who referred me to Shelter from the Storm. I was only supposed to be here for a night. I viewed a property which seemed OK, but when I went back to Haringey Council I was approached by someone from the Home Office – I think he was based there at the Council offices. He said they couldn’t help me as I didn’t have proof of the right to reside and I wasn’t eligible for Housing Benefit. I didn’t really understand what he was talking about. I’d lost my passport with my indefinite leave stamp, years ago. To regularise my situation, I’ve had to provide all sorts of evidence of my life in the UK and get copies of my Birth Certificate from St Lucia – it’s taking ages and I’m still homeless 8 months on – waiting for a decision from the Home Office.

If I wasn’t able to stay at the shelter, I don’t know what I’d do, I’d be on the streets again. I walk around or sit in the library most days. Being homeless makes it difficult to have contact with my children.
I’m in Limbo. I can’t work, I can’t get anywhere to live, I have absolutely no contact with anyone in St Lucia. I just hope the Home Office mean it when they say they’re going to make it easier for people like me. But, to be honest, I just don’t know what else I can do to prove I’ve lived here since I was a child and I’ve worked and paid tax most of my adult life

All my life believed I was British and I pray that I can spend the rest of my life it in my own home and maybe find a nice job.

I’m a nomad. I was born in Cambridge in 1964 – my parents were South African hippies and my father came to Cambridge to study medicine.  Cape town in the 60’s was very glamorous – a great liberal, social scene.  My father left us when I was four and my sisters were six and two.  My mother was quite embittered by being left.  She’d followed my father all over the world and then he left her for a younger model.  We moved back to South Africa and my mother went back to nursing to support us – she was a Matron in a Cape Town hospital.

My mother made us very aware that she’d sacrificed her life for us – working all hours to send us to private schools.  When I finished school, I worked as a nurse to pay for my own University place studying psychology, but I dropped out.  I had no support structure and I lived with street people and squatted in Cape Town. When I was 23, I came to London, became a Punk and squatted in Clapton.  I was doing a lot of performance and dancing and travelled back and forth from Jo’burg to London. I had a baby at 27 and another at 31 – I looked after them as a single parent until they were adults.  Life in Jo’burg was pretty extreme – violent and hard.  In 2004/5, I wrote to Tony Blair asking him for help to get away from South Africa. Got a polite reply, but no actual help.

I’d been managing to support us all with work as a journalist, but by 2010 I was out of work.  In 2011, I started my PHD – the kids had grown up and I was on my own.  I sold all my possessions and started travelling across Africa.  My PHD was about the psychological effects of HIV on women.  I would work for a few months then continue my travels.

In a way, I made myself homeless – living in my car in UK and my tent in Africa.  NGO’s in Africa were always very supportive and often gave me paid work.  I lived this nomadic, borderless life, never really feeling at home anywhere. Up to the end of 2016, I lived in my car in Cape Town near to my kids, but  I’d just had enough, so I sold my car and came to UK in January.  I didn’t have a Cent!  I spent the first weeks on the streets around Victoria.  It was bitterly cold and I got ill.  I was told that to get help, I had to be ‘spotted’ on the streets like a wild animal. I went to the Passage in Victoria, but none of the street outreach helped me get a bed.  I met an old friend and Sofa surfed for a while until I somehow got a space in a Churches Winter Shelter.  When the churches shelter closed down I followed some homeless Polish men to a park in Leyton Marshes and I camped there with them.  I guess I thought I’d be safer with them, but they robbed me of everything – my tent, my laptop, my clothes, my sleeping bag.  Luckily, I always keep my ID on me.  That Sunday I went to a Soup Kitchen in Walthamstow.  There was a Christian guy there, a Zimbabwean, and he said I could stay with him.  He was a fundamentalist born again Christian.  This guy became quite abusive and controlling.  He tried to convert me and told me my Catholic godmother was a devil worshipper.  I’d had enough and went to St Mungo’s and begged them to help me.  This time, after three months of asking, they referred me to Shelter from the Storm.

At Shelter from the Storm, I found a place of peace where I didn’t feel hunted, where I could get some sleep and headspace – one of the most underrated human needs. SFTS helped me find my own place.  They’re so lovely at the shelter, but I need my own space – somewhere I can play a little music and have a little dance.  I chose my life and I don’t regret it.

It’s six years since AA Gill first visited us at the shelter and wrote about us so beautifully and brilliantly.  He was a great friend to SFTS and many people who read his piece about the shelter in Christmas 2011, continue to support us and volunteer today.  He cooked for our guests a couple of times – here he is with “the blonde”. We’re so sad he’s no longer with us. Read again his lovely piece about us: http://sfts.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/SFTS_AAGill-copy.pdf

Hi, my name is Kim.  What have I got to show for my life?  Three children I hardly see – nowhere to live – Oh, I wonder sometimes what is the bloody point of it all.  Should I give up or just stay for the long run?  It’s not easy when you suffer with depression to know what’s best to do or where to go.

I came to Shelter from the Storm just over a month ago. The reason I was sent here was because of domestic violence with my boyfriend, now ex-partner.  He put his hands round my throat, caused a big row and told me to get out of his flat.  That was on a Tuesday afternoon; I slept rough at London bridge for the night – feeling scared, unsure what to do and nervous.

In the morning, I went to a homeless place called the Manna Centre, had something to eat and spoke to an advisor.  She phoned round a couple of places and I was told to be at SFTS at 6 o’clock.  They gave me great advice on what I had to do, I’ve met a lot of great people and I should be moving into my own place soon.  If it wasn’t for the staff and people that volunteer here, I would still be on the streets.

Thank you everyone at Shelter from the Storm

I’m from Tottenham, St Annes Road and I was born in the North Middx Hospital. My dad was American and my mum from Jamaica. My dad was a GI and mum came here in the late 50’s. When I was 9 they split up. When dad left I really missed him and I became uncontrollable. I started hanging out with much older men and they used me to break in to shops and schools to steal. I was caught and put in a children’s home, Northolt Place – I was assessed there and they did a case conference on me. The Judge said there was no reason I shouldn’t go back home, but mum said no – she didn’t want me.

They sent me to Sir Thomas Moore Community School in West Sussex. It was run by the Christian Brothers and it was a pretty violent, abusive environment – we got hit a lot! When I was 11, I went to my first foster family in Crawley. They were lovely people but I kept running away to mum and she kept sending me back. After that I was fostered twice more, always lovely people but I always ran back home and my mum always returned me.

I left Thomas Moore at 17 and ended up in Margaret Thatcher’s ‘Short Sharp Shock Treatment’ – DC in Ashford. I was still getting in to lots of trouble and after DC, I ended up in Borstal. After Borstal I started stealing cars – Cortina’s, Corsairs, Capris, Grenadas – all nice cars. I got knicked and sent to prison.

At 22 I was released from prison and met a lovely girl at a party. We were together 28 years and have 2 beautiful daughters. I was still mixed up with gangs but I also did some legitimate work – mechanic, security, scaffolding. While I was living this gang life I got shot 5 times.  I also got knifed very badly. I’ve got a big scar on my back. They cut me with a dirty Stanley knife.  It got infected and I had to have a big operation.

I was about 35 and after the stabbing, I went to the US to look for my father, my aunt had kept in touch. I rang him and said I needed his help – had a lot of questions to ask. We were driving over Brooklyn Bridge and he opened up to me. He said he’d heard that I was in trouble and he’d come back to the UK to look for me but my mum had prevented him from contacting me. He even tried to apply through the courts but she stopped him. It meant a lot to me to know that he’d tried to find me.  Later, my son went to live with him in the States.

When I got another stabbing there was a rumour I was dead and my sister phoned my dad to tell him.  It seems the shock gave him a massive heart attack and he died in front of my son. My son hasn’t forgiven me or spoken to me since – he’s still in the States

It was difficult to escape from this sort of gang life. At the time I didn’t want for anything and life was good until I tried to leave – I wanted to see my kids grow up.  I’d seen 12 friends die and I just wanted out – a lot of funerals and no weddings. That’s when the trouble started. I was about 49 and I told them I didn’t want to be in it no more. I got my head chopped! I had to leave my family because I was frightened for their safety. I moved into my aunt’s house in Tottenham.  I’m at home at my Aunt’s when 2 gang members visit me – a guy and a girl. They ask me to do something I didn’t want to do – I said I couldn’t help them. The girl asked for the toilet and while I was showing her, the guy put 6 armour plated bullets under my bed.  45 minutes after they left the police arrived and I was arrested for possession of ammunition. They smashed up my aunt’s flat looking for the gun. I pleaded guilty and got 2 years in Pentonville.  On release I had nowhere to go, I couldn’t go back to my aunt’s and although my mum is still alive, I haven’t spoken to her for years. I knew a guy who worked in a Gym so I’d sneak in there just before they closed and leave when they opened up in the morning.  The agencies that were supposed to be supporting me when I left prison didn’t really do anything – luckily I got a referral to Shelter from the Storm. My years of violent, gang life has taken it’s toll – I’ve been told I’ve got PTSD – to be honest, I was only a child when I started. I’m getting my life back together and what I’d really like is for one day to be able to mentor and help other kids escape the sort of life I’ve lived.

Eventually I’d love to get a place for me and Sarah to start afresh. I’d like a completely empty shell – just a small flat and we’d finish it – make it ours. Start from scratch – a mattress, a chair, find some speakers – the first tune we’d play would probably be Herbie Hancock, maybe Chick Corea – and go from there.

I was born in Clapton in 1962, I’m 52 and I’ve lived in Stoke Newington most of my life. My mum still lives there, she’s 85 and she’s got vascular dementia – she’s ok but she gets pretty fed up with the carers. I went to Upton Park Boys School in Clapton. I was happy at school – I liked anything technical or mechanical and I wanted to be an engineer. I was in the Air Cadets and I thought about signing up for the Air Force. I got an apprenticeship at Allied Foundries in Dalston as a tool and pattern maker but I didn’t finish it because I lost my log book.

I got jobs temping in warehouses and factories – worked at Maynard’s Wine Gums for a bit.  I was a little bit naughty when I was a teenager – got mixed up with some wrong people. I got nicked for stealing a car radio – got a fine and had to go some place every Saturday for a couple of months and I think we had to run around a playground or something. But…it put paid to my Air Force hopes. I had to see a probation officer and one of their ‘partners’ offered me a job doing graffiti, where they also gave me a video camera which really fascinated me. I started a short course at South Thames College – I loved it. I started applying for jobs working with video and got a job with a hire company. I got to take equipment to TV companies and exhibitions. I did that for a couple of years till I was made redundant. Luckily in those days, I could always get work temping.

I volunteered at the National Film & Television School in Beaconsfield where I helped with the editing.  I applied to study editing but sadly didn’t get in – my life would’ve been very different if I had. At the time, it was a bit of a blow.

I met someone who was making a documentary about black coal miners and I ended up being the editor on it as well as being production manager.  It was called Skin and Coal – it was sold to Channel 4 and I was proud. I thought it was an excellent little film. During the editing, my dad died and that derailed me a bit.  He had a bit of life insurance and I got about £10,000 – I lived off that for a couple of years and then just lived and worked.

Sarah is a brilliant artist and I met her in 2014 through friends. She was homeless, so she came to live with me and my mum.  She has mental health issues and eventually got a hostel place with St Mungo’s. They mucked her about a bit, first they said she’d be there 18 months, then they said they’d be closing down in 6 months. This upset her, she likes things to be as she’s been told they’ll be. The accommodation they offered her was pretty poor – just small rooms with a loo and shower in them. One place we looked at, someone offered to sell us drugs.  She didn’t like any of them and in the end, St Mungo’s kicked her out and she came back to live with me and mum.

It was the last West Ham game at Upton Park and there’s this fence you can climb along to sneak in. Sarah was a bit drunk and slipped and cut her hands badly.  We watched a bit of the match, but had to get the first aiders to bandage her up. One day mum’s carers came and mum was hiding, she used to do that, but they thought it was something to do with Sarah and her bandages. A week later I got a call from my sisters to say we had a week to clear out – they thought mum was frightened of Sarah, but she wasn’t, Mum and Sarah got on well. We were up all that night, walking till morning, then Sarah went to her hospital appointment and I went to work as a Postman.  I’d been working full time as a Postman since 2008.

Sarah had a 2-man tent and we pitched it on Stoke Newington Common. We’d put it up quite late, about 10ish and have it all wrapped up by 5.30am.  We cleared all the rubbish so no one would know we’d been there and hide the tent in the bushes. I’d go off to work and Sarah would go to a day centre. It was quite cosy in the tent – we’d get picnics from the supermarket, maybe some beers for Sarah but not usually for me.  We did this for about 6months – we had 5 tents in all – they kept getting nicked. We camped in Wanstead Flats and the park rangers pinched our tent but mostly we camped in Stoke Newington so I could pop back to mum’s for some bits. Sundays we’d go to the Rochester Castle for breakfast. Sarah liked the Eggs Royale which is poached eggs, smoked salmon and rocket – I’d have the Full English with extra eggs. We’d have endless coffee refills, charge our phones and use the bathrooms – once Sarah dyed her hair in the loos. Occasionally we’d stay in a B&B for a bit, maybe a Travel Lodge which was a bit of luxury.

It was getting cold and it was tiring. Even if we found a cheap hotel, it was hard work.  I was in Catch 22 – couldn’t save for a deposit because it was costing so much for B&Bs. Xmas 2016 we stayed in a Travel Lodge and hired some Boris Bikes but Sarah fell off and broke her ankle. The pain was so bad that she had to go into hospital to have it operated on.

Finally, Sarah got a hostel place because of her mental health.  For the first couple of weeks she wouldn’t stay, so we’d hang out in Stratford or stay in hotels. I’d been extending my overdraft to pay for everything and in the end the bank pulled the plug!

Ever since Sarah and I met, even before we got together we’d always been in touch and it was difficult for us to be apart.  Sarah had to spend more time at the hostel (she was still in plaster) and I spent nights sleeping out.  I went to the Welcome Day Centre that we used in Ilford, they referred me to the shelter and soon after I got a bed.

When I first arrived, I thought this is a lot better than sleeping out. I’m used to my own company, so I find the lack of privacy a bit difficult at times.  I built up a lot of debt which I’m slowly working to pay off and living at the shelter is a big help with that –   but I’ll do it and make a home for me and Sarah.

Thomas’s story of an Islington childhood and sleeping rough on the streets of Kentish Town

I’m 26 – my family lived in Market Road Islington and I was born in University College Hospital. I’ve got a little brother who’s nearly 22. Growing up in Islington was good.  I went to Brecknock School and then on to Holloway Boys.  It was good to hang out with my mates and my best friend was Charlie.  We played a lot of football, I was in the school team and in the local league – we were pretty good and won the trophy 3 or 4 times.  At 16 I went to City & Islington 6^th form college to study ICT and I passed my entry level.  I had a wicked teacher called Lee and I had a great time there.  All this time I was living at home but life there was very harsh and difficult.

2 years ago, my dad nearly died.  He had a terrible accident when he fell down the stairs.  It was all very odd.  He’d been trying to wake me up for work, but it was only 3 in the morning.  We don’t really know what happened, but he must’ve become disorientated and fell. It was really bad, he was in a coma for 2 months with a blood clot in his head.  Then he got better and came home.

I was working at Screwfix and I was really frustrated – I had a lot on my mind.   My mum was in rehab and I was worried about her.  I was also worried about my dad – he was finding it difficult to be without my mum – he’d never been apart from her for 27 years.  I was really rude to my manager, but I was having such a rough time with everything – I regret it, but there you go – he sacked me!  When I lost my job, relations with my dad deteriorated.  We were getting on each other’s nerves and it got a bit out of hand and he kicked me out.  I was sleeping on the streets in Kentish Town round the back of the Co-Op. It was horrible.

I’d been on a training programme with the Arsenal on and off for 6years. I was so desperate that I called Jack who works for the Arsenal programme and asked if he could help me, as a long shot, he called Shelter from the Storm and amazingly they had a bed for me.  They were so welcoming to me at SFTS, they did everything they could to help me.  I saw the SFTS counsellor which helped me get back on track.

Mum had a bit of a wobble, but she’s back in rehab now which is great – I want her to get the best help possible.  Cookie found a place for me to move into and I’m off tomorrow.

I’m feeling optimistic about the future – I’m looking for work and I’m still volunteering at the Arsenal.  I am so grateful for the shelter and all the help they gave me when I really needed it